Greatest Excuse Letter

From: AGENT MJ
Date: Fri, Oct 13, 2006 at 10:42 AM
Subject: Quatable Excuse Letters


These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country.


1. My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
[Sige, bitayin na yan! Ang Lupit ng hatol nito. Ano kaya sakit nya at kailangan na syang i-execute?]
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
[Oh my! Bawal magkasakit! Ang magkasakit, babarilin! nakupu!] 

3. Dear School : Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30,31,32, and also 33.
[Ayus! parang lotto ang Kalendaryo nya!]

4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
[Ah, baka si President Gloria eto. She's done administrating, sa congress na sya..]

5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
[Please help us find the Lost Hip of Roland. Nawawala sya after nyang mahulog eh. Dyaskeng, hip yan. San ba nag punta at absent tuloy si Roland sa PE.]

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
[Isang Misteryo kung paano nagkaroon ng ipin sa mukha ni John. Kinagat siguro sya ni lola at naiwan ang pustiso. =)]

7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
[hay naku, sobra naman si BFF Veins, inistorbo si Megan, di tuloy nakapasok. Sana kami din ng Veins ko, Close.]

8. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
[ahhhh, ehhh, Naku naman, yung consonant ba loose din?]

9. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
[Naku, Nagpa-bawas ba ng bust si Irving? namiss nya agad.]

10. Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
[Let's offer a moment silence for Sally for her Funeral.....Naku last chance mo na at one week lang ang funeral ni Sally at babalik na sya school. Zombie na sya?]

11. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
[Stud pala si Jason. Anong Breed? Chihuahua, German Shepherd o baka naman ASPIN yan!]

12. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
[Grabe na eto! Ang mga kabataan talaga! Gangover na!]

13. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat,her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
[Hala, excuse letter ba eto ng family nya? baka dapat i-quarantine ang pamilyang yan.]

14. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. 
[Ayus! pwede bang i iwan na lang yang Sunday newspaper from Monday to Friday?!?! Magamit nga etong excuse na eto..]