Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Stages, essence and other insights about life

Change. There's nothing constant in this world except change. Some changes are unavoidable, while others are expected. But at the end of the day, we always hope that the end result of this changes will be the best for us.

As for me, a surprising and promising change has happened. Although I'm still at the period wherein I'm still weighing things and finding my right footing, I can say that it is indeed a worthwhile experience. That is mainly the reason why I haven't updated this site for a while since part of the change I went into recently includes changing of mailbox. =)  I'm not in the position to divulge more information so let's just leave it at that. =)

Now, back to my regular posting. During my hiatus, there are few mails that was routed successfully to my  mailbox that helps me see things in a different light. So here's some insightful thought-provoking ideas from my ever-reliable agent, AGENT M.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Tue, Mar 15, 2011 at 12:47 PM
Subject: Tawa muna dyan!



At 15: Lord give me superMAN
At 18: Lord give me a cute MAN
At 20: Lord give me the best MAN
At 30: Lord give me a good MAN
At 40: Lord give me a MAN
At 50: Lord give me sino MAN
At 60: Lord maawa ka naMAN
At 70: Lord kaya ko pa naMAN
At 80: Lord kahit mahipo MAN lang


Lotion for babies
Cologne for the 20's
Efficacent oil for the 40's
Bawang and Luya for the 60's
Beyond 60's.... FORMALIN NA.


1-10 years: Araw-Araw, Gabi-Gabi

11-20 years: Saan Ka Man Naroroon

21-50 years: Gaano Kadalas ang Minsan

50-above: Maala Ala Mo Kaya


3 to 8: paramihan ng toys

9 to 18: pataasan ng grades

19 to 25: padamihan ng syota

26 to 35: pagandahan ng asawa

36 to 45: palakihan ng income

46 to 55: padamihan, pagandahan at pabataan ng kabit

56 to 70: padamihan ng sakit

71 & over: pabonggahan ng LIBING!

Hagikhikan Time


Doc: Hija, mukhang pumapayat ka at hinang-hina pa. Sinunod mo ba ang advice ko na 3 meals a day?

Girl: Diyos ko! 3 meals a day ba, doc? Akala ko 3 males a day!


Mario: Pag tayo na, magkasama na nating haharapin ang mga problema.

Betty: Pero wala naman akong problema.

Mario: Kasi nga, hindi pa tayo. Wag ka excited!


Husband: Hon, buksan mo ang pinto!

Wife: Sori, hindi pwede. Wala akong suot.

Husband: (tumawa) ok lang. Wala akong kasama.

Wife: Ako, meron!


Tip for a long life:

Wag mo isusulat name mo sa condolence book pag dumalaw ka sa patay. Kasi pagkatapos ng libing nagkakaroon ng raffle kung sinong susunod.


Teacher: Pedro, late ka na naman.

Pedro: Late po kasi relo ko.

Teacher: Problema ba yon? E di i-advance mo.

Pedro: Sige po.

Teacher: Oh, saan ka pupunta?

Pedro: Uwian na po!


Mrs: Kung alam ko lang di sana ako nagpakasal sa iyo! ABS ka!

Mr: Anong ABS?

Mrs: Alak, Babae, Sugal.

Mr: Eh ikaw, CBN!

Mrs: CBN?

Mr: Chismosa, Bungangera, Nagger!


May dalawang lalaki sabay nag jogging:

Guy 1: Doctor ako pare, kaya ako tumatakbo kasi HEALTH conscious ako! Ikaw pare?

Guy 2: Snatcher pare! WEALTH conscious ako.


Sa isang turo-turo:

Customer: Manang, meh langaw sa arroz caldo ko!

Tindera: Hello! Sa halagang P5.00 anong ine-expect mo, manok?


Tom: Alam mo pare, my new wife is a sex object!

Jerry: Wow! Maganda pala ang napangasawa mo pare!

Tom: Hindi naman but everytime I want to have sex with her, object sya ng object.


Cop: Bakit po K-9 ang tawag sa malalaking aso, sir!

Visor: Syempre pag tinawag mo silang K-10, hindi na sila aso.

Cop: Ano na sila, sir?

Visor: Eh di maliit na pusa.


Anak: Nay, yung girlfriend ko hindi naniniwala sa langit at impiyerno.

Nanay: Sige, pakasalan mo anak, ipatikim mo sa kanya ang langit, ako na ang bahala sa impiyerno!


A husband asked his wife, "Hon, what do you like most in me, my handsome face or my sexy body?"

The wife looked at him from head to toe and replied, "Hon, I like your sense of humor."


Russian distributor: Sir, we got a huge order from USA for l6-inch condoms. This will embarrass us.

Putin: No problem! Complete the order and mark them SMALL SIZE!


A guy picks up a girl for a date.

Guy: Why are you wearing your belt around your knee?

Girl: I promised my Mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.

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