Out of the Office

Leaving for a long vacation? Worried about unanswered email? Or tired of your conventional, unappealing out of the office notification? (Oh no, this is not home tv shopping.) Never fret, here are some straight-to-the-point and honest yet upbeat "Out of the Office" reply. But wait, try using it within 5 minutes, I bet you'll lose your job in no time. =) And this email is brought to you by Agent M.

Out of Office Replies We Wish We Could Use Sometimes

1) I am currently away from my desk, beating my head against the wall. Your message will be replied to once I have reached a level of numbness sufficient to cloud my vision to the point I am able to formulate an appropriate response to your request.

2) I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if
I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

3) You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4) I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return on April 1st. Please be patient and your Mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5) Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6) The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection
and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)

7) Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8) I've run away to join a different circus.

9) I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Martha' instead of Marvin.