a Not so Funny Email.

I always receive a lot of hoax emails from urban legends to pay-per-forward scam emails. Most of the times, I reply to the sender to inform them that it is nothing but a hoax email. I sometimes even research to verify and validate the claims on the email. But there are times that no validation is needed, just look for "red flags" in the email and surely you can say that is hoax email. Below is the sample email coming from Agent M.

From: Agent M
Sent: Friday, July 20, 2007 10:27 AM
To: Agent Gadget; Agent WANG WANG; Agent Ding Dong; Agent Vavoom; Agent Papa; Agent Jatujak; M.O.RON

Subject: FW: Funny 

This is the coolest thing I have ever gotten. All you have to do is send it to 7 people and watch your screen, it is the funniest clip. I can't tell you what it is but I was laughing so hard I almost fell off my chair!!! So, send it to those 7 people and watch.

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!

MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMIL ES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER!

FRIENDS FOREVER!

Forward this to at least 7 people and see what happens on your screen . you will laugh your head off!!!!!!!!!!!

If you forward it to 7 people a video comes on your screen.   

Obviously, Agent M falls into this trap. The email was sent to 7 other recipient including me. And after responding back to Agent M regarding this hoax email, it was confirmed that nothing happened. So how do you check if the email is a hoax. Here are some "Red Flags" that you should look into emails to verify it is a hoax. Please note that this list is just partial listing.

Top 10 Red Flags to Determine Hoax Email

1. Asking you to forward the email to x number of people. = When you see this, its automatically a hoax email, the chain letter type. (e.g. "Forward this to 7 people!!!!")


2. If the email states that something will happen when you forward the email. = Related to Item #1, regardless on how advance the email technology is, forwarding email will not magically give you the best video you will ever see nor will it create a magically awesome scene on your computer. In addition, there are no credible organization to use pay-per-forward scheme since it is tantamount to spamming. So Microsoft, Google or yahoo will never compensate you on every email you forwarded. It will also not help any sick kid in some remote location. (e.g. "if you forward this email, Microsoft will give USD 0.70 to some kid with a very rare disease.")


3. If the email contains Superlatives words. = Super, Most, Best, "Mostest", "Bestest" any thing superlative. (e.g. "The best video that I ever seen in my entire life!!!" "The Coolest Thing I ever gotten!!!")


4. Testimonial coming from someone "close". = anybody from brother to housemates to someone else ex-girlfriend. (e.g. "This is true, I also heard this from my batch mate's ex-house-mate's cousin's ex-girlfriend's father!") 


5. Citing from an anonymous person from a known, valid, credible company or organization. = It seems that mentioning a valid and credible organization sort of makes some anonymous credible also. (e.g. "According to the scientist from NASA, This is true." "I heard this from the guy in BBC.")


6. Citing from a research without stating the source of information. = if there are no citation of any journal or research document or even a site that will validate the research, then you can treat it as hoax. (e.g. "This is based on the research done by the scientists in WHO.")


7. If the last part or majority of the email is written in all caps, colored (multi-colored) and bold font with lots of punctuation marks particularly the exclamation point (!). = A valid email specially those containing critical information will be written properly. (e.g. "SEND THIS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!" "OMG, THIS IS TRUE!!!!!!!" "YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS !!!")


8. Outrageous Claims without citing source = Email that tells you a "SUPER POWERFUL VIRUS" that will burn your PC or a flesh eating disease from a banana. If you received such claims, check online news sites or website that was mentioned on the email. If there is such a disease or a virus, it will definitely be on the news. 


9. Blackmail = if the email contains some sort of blackmail or hostage on your part, then it is hoax. (e.g. "If you don't do this, something BAD will happen to your ex-lover's hamster.")


10. Self-affirmation followed by testimonials (see item #4) & anonymous sources (see items #5&6)= Most of the times, hoax emails contains self-affirmation to make you believe it is true. (e.g. "THIS IS TRUE!!!! My Brother's gradeschool classmate's sister-in-law heard this from a guy in CNN.")

If you received an email that contains any one or combination of items above, I can assure you that it is a hoax email. If you still have doubts, you can forward the email to me or check out my favorite hoax-buster, www.snopes.com.

Out of the Office

Leaving for a long vacation? Worried about unanswered email? Or tired of your conventional, unappealing out of the office notification? (Oh no, this is not home tv shopping.) Never fret, here are some straight-to-the-point and honest yet upbeat "Out of the Office" reply. But wait, try using it within 5 minutes, I bet you'll lose your job in no time. =) And this email is brought to you by Agent M.

Out of Office Replies We Wish We Could Use Sometimes

1) I am currently away from my desk, beating my head against the wall. Your message will be replied to once I have reached a level of numbness sufficient to cloud my vision to the point I am able to formulate an appropriate response to your request.

2) I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if
I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

3) You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4) I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return on April 1st. Please be patient and your Mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5) Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6) The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection
and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)

7) Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8) I've run away to join a different circus.

9) I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Martha' instead of Marvin.